It's an interesting dichotomy. People can't be wholly passive or active, even if their roles seem to demand it. I imagined that Maria did try to get Mr. Rushworth because she thought him the most suitable match, but she couldn't do much beyond be pleasing in his eyes and receive approval from both families. And that Julia was hoping to do the same thing. Even when agency is restricted and people must act without seeming to act, it's difficult to stop people from seeing themselves as subjects.

Humans are social creatures in general, so I like how the Crawford's are built to be very good at socializing and social politics. They couldn't get away with saying what they said if they didn't act charming about it. I think it's not just personality, but the kind of personality that knows how to be charming in the right circumstances, that is very well adapted to their environment. I think he and Mary could have had those traits but displayed them in the wrong way, but they didn't.

The in/out discussion was fun; it also showed a kind of ambiguity for Fanny's role. The Bertrams' don't seem to know what is planned for her exactly, since she's not to be the lady their daughters are, but she is family and a lady. They haven't known all along beyond that she would be provided for in some way; they thought she would be with Mrs. Norris at first, and they thought it again when she was fifteen. Of course she is younger too. It's conceivable that what happens later is what was planned after Mrs. Norris wouldn't take her the second time: that after at least one daughter was taken care of, Fanny could be 'out'.